i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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