that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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