K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you didnt know i had herpes?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
