It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
