you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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