I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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