the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
