i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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