In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
