no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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