Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
