I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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