they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
