is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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