I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Randomize
