I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
