So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
