Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
