hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I looked at my own cervix.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
