you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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