even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
