I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
