So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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