You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
