he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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