Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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