before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
