Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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