she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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