One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
