Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
