So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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