omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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