So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
