I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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