awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
