i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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