come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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