I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
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We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
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Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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