Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
being pregnant is like rehab
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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