so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
