So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
