What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
