Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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