we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize