she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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