I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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