saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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