you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
