Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
