Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
this just has baby written all over it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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