Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize