Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
