Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
