i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
