best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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