i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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