so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
