i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
