oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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