did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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