i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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