so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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