Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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