belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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